Det här är vad jag hållit mig sysselsatt med senaste nätterna, då jag nyligen kommit på att jag har en 6 år gammal dammig laptop(felstavat säger chrome. "alptopp, lapskojs, lapsus, lappera")  som ligger och skräpar under mitt skrivbord. Tillägger att detta är något ytterst oseriöst. :>

In a rather not so fancy part of town, a man named Tatsuro stepped inside his apartment. Being a DJ for the most popular night club in a decade didn't allow him to have those 'early nights' as other people, though he spent his nights partying. 5am still was not a very great time to get home from work, especially not as a, for now, secret visitor were to arrive around lunch. He went straight to bed, not paying enough attention to see the man sitting in his kitchen with a glass of chocolate milk in his hand. The man at the table sighed as he heard Tatsuro starting to snore in less than a minute. He slowly made his way to the sink, opening the cupboard above it, took out the painkillers from their place and, still slowly, walked into Tatsuros bedroom to sit down on the bed.

"Dear, dear. You stupid man. Having a job like this is not suitable for a person your age."

Tatsuro snorted at him and turned around in the bed.

"Take these. I'll go make you some coffee. We have business laying at our feet!"

He smacked Tatsuro in the back of his head before leaving him with the pills and his glass of chocolate milk and going back into the kitchen to make that coffee happen. A muffled "Fuck you, Gackt.." was heard from the bedroom.

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Half an hour later, Tatsuro had made it out alive, and now the two men were sitting on the balcony, both with a cigarette stuck between their right hands fingers and a cup of coffe in their free hand.

"So, what I've planned so far is that we.. clean out all the shit from your apartment and..-"

"Is there a specific reason we can't just do this at your place?"

"Of course there is, but that is irrelevant."

"..whatever, go on."

"Yes, and we also have to contact a few of my.. men, so to speak."

"You have your own men? Lucky ass bastard."

"I though you knew I do! Well, let's stick to the subject. I only thought of Sugizo so far, but I guess that'll do. He's a man that knows what he is doing."

"..okay whatever. So, he's gonna help us clean my place, or what?"

"Yes. And..-"

"Wait, this will be done by lunch, right?"

"I don't think so, why?"

"I'm expecting someone."

"Oh.. Too bad then. Either you cancel it, or you move your Picadilly circus elsewhere. You can't hang around here."

"Great. I invited someone over - and NO, you breaking in like this is NOT being invited - for the first time in ages and I can't even let him inside my door."

"Exactly like that. I suggest you call this expected person and tell him off."

"I'm still meeting up with him, you know!"

"Blah blah. Your love stories is none of my business. Neither do they interest me."

"It's not a love story, stupid, well.. Back to our business then!"

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Another thirty minutes later, their discussion was over, and Gackt had left to pick up Sugizo and run some errands. Tatsuro turned on the coffee machine for the second time this morning and went into the bathroom. His hair had been getting really long lately.. He put it up in some lazy ponytail-like thing before entering the shower, feeling refreshed as the hot water trickled down his back. The game he made up with his best friends a couple of years back - see how long you could stand switching between ice cold and burning hot water - really woke him up. He yelled out loud after turning on the ice cold water for the seventh time, "FUCK NO I AM NOT TURNING ON THE WATER FROM HELL AGAIN", and ran out of the shower to jump into his bathing robe.

"Only 10am?.. Jeeeez, I have nothing to waste my time on.."

He went into his bedroom to check his cellphone. Nothing.

"Might as well call Nii and make him go out for some breakfast with me."

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"SO?! Who's hair has grown the most?!"

"It's kind of obvious it's mine."

"WELL... WELL.. Fuck you! At least mine is naturally straight."

"No it's not."

".....well then, preppy Tatsu boy. Leave! Leave me here if you're not in the mood for losing!"

"I'm winning, haha."

"Then the loser get to drink the winners coffee. And the winner pays!"

Nii was never really tired. Not even this early. On a sunday morning. After being out drinking until 3am. He was.. A true miracle. And blessing. If there was no Nii, Tatsuro had been forced to go out for breakfast without company. And that, ladies and gentlemen, it not a very pleasant experience. I suggest you don't try it out.

"If you want to, I could just order you two lattes."

"No?! I lost, I want your latte."

"So I can't have one?"

"CERTAINLY.. not!"

"I'm paying for you to steal my breakfast?"

"Hey, you can still have that tuna toast. Disgusting! There must be something wrong with you."

"I guess that would be true. But I still have the longest princess hair in town."

"..didn't I say fuck you?"

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"Tatsuro, it's Gackt. I consider it rather rude to have your cellphone turned off like this. Especially when you should have been expecting this call. Where are you? The door here is locked, and we kind of need to get inside. If you don't call me back in less than ten minutes, I'll kick the door in. You know I will."

"HEY TATSU, your phone went buzzing wild when you were in the bathroom!"

"Did you take the call..?!"

"God, no!"

"For fucks sake, Nii, it could have been important!"

"I don't want to touch your phone! With a vibration like that, who knows where it could have been?!"

"..you're so fucking stupid."

"No, you are! Now, I took the rest of your toast when you were gone..-"

"I though you said it was disgusting?"

"Uh, yeah I did?!"

"....and..?"

"...and what?!"

"WHY DID YOU TAKE IT IF YOU SAID IT WAS DISGUSTING?!"

"I dunno. Hey, let's go to your place!"

"Shisus crust.."

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"WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO MY DOOR?"

"Looks like it's been kicked in."

"Yeah, I CAN SEE THAT."

"My bet's on.. kicked in."

"Fuck you, Nii.. Gackt?!"

"We're in the bedroom!"

Tatsuro and Nii carefully sneaked past the leftovers of the door, took left and ended up jaw dropping at the sight.

"Hey guys! Nice breakfast? Sugizo thought it would be a nice idea to spice things up a little in here!"

"Spice.. things... up?"

Tatsuro couldn't believe his eyes. In one and a half hour he had been gone, the room had gone through a transformation never seen before. The simple light bulb he had in the ceiling was gone, replaced by a giant disco lamp, glittering in every color you can imagine. His sheets had been switched, the new ones neonish in pink and black.. and..

"...what the fuck were you thinking?"

"The walls?! OH, don't worry, we put those up with a couple of screws.. and nails. And a stapler! You can take them down whenever you feel like it."

"..huge diamond.. BUGS?"

"Yeah? You don't like them?"

"Why the fuck would this be necessary?! Seriously, are you two fully retarded?!"

"There, there, Tatsuro! Gackt just called me and asked for some help with a secret project and.. Well, I bet you like this. Deep, deep inside of you, I know you love this. Just think for a moment. You love it, don't you?"

Tatsuro slowly turned his head at Sugizo. His eyebrow raised even slower. He took three slow steps and stopped with his face ten centimeters away from Sugizos, and he never broke their eye contact.

"Do. You. Want. To. Die?"

"Of course not!" Sugizo smiled.

"Then I am sorry to tell you that I'm about to fucking strangle you."

"Now, boys, don't fight!"

Gackt stuck his hand in between their faces, Sugizo still smiling sheepishly, Tatsuros nostrils were just about to blow out smoke and fire.

"Gackt. I will move away forever and never speak again until you get this shit out of here."

"Sorry."

"I don't want sorry, I want this.. this.. shit.. out!"

"Okay, you leave for your date and we'll fix this."

"You have a date, Tatsuro?! Can I come with you?!"

..right. Tatsuros date.

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So far, this day have been fucking mental. Is this some kind of lack-of-sleep-illusion? I sure hope I'm on the right bus now. Wait, did I even text him and tell him we're not meeting up at my place..?

...

DID I?!

...

Oh, I did.

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